Bittersweet Infatuation
by Lady Betsy
Summary: Jacqueline "Jack" worked with the Benzini Brothers circus as long as since she could remember. How does one recently homeless Cornell student change many perspectives in her life that easily? Love triangles included.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: **I do not own** Sara Gruen's _Water for Elephants_ **but I do own Jacqueline. I can proudly say that she is my own creation. My sincere apologies to Gruen for butchering her novel. It's not that I didn't like her book, I love and respect it …so you can say this was sort of life like a tribute to it?**

**Jacqueline "Jack" POV **

_I know it's going to be another long damn ride when Camel, the oldest worker, brought in his Jake Leg to share with the crew in our car. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the old man. He's probably one of the greatest and most sincere people I have met compared to the rest. _

"Now Jack, don't bring the atmosphere down. Where's your cup? Celebrate with us!" He spoke with extreme enthusiasm. I looked up at him, struggling to form a smile on my face.

"Not tonight, Camel" This has always been my way of rejecting his offer. God knows what is in those drinks but one thing I was certain about was that it isn't legit alcohol. According to him, it was some Jamaican herb of some sort, which I do not dare to try it AT ALL. If I wanted alcohol, I prefer the real thing, you know whiskey, beer...but It's all thanks to the absurd Prohibition Law. Fucking great. What ever happened to our unalienable right of being happy? If booze made many of us happy, why enforce such law for a right fought by our founding fathers? I swear the Government in a nutshell is ridiculous, hence why we are in this shit hole_. _

"You're missing out." Walden spoke out loud sloppily as if he were intoxicated. It didn't take too long for the old fart to stop bothering me, only to be replaced by the ever so determined Nick, who decided to sit next to me on the sideline of the party.

"You look very pretty tonight." Nick complimented me in the most awkward manner imaginable. I rolled my eyes wryly and responded back. "Now you have a fetish for girls covered by manure and smells like one too?" Somewhere in his face, I saw discomfort; I smiled with accomplishment that my goal succeeded when he finally excused himself to join the rambunctious crowd.

The sun has finally diminished in the horizon when we reached Ithaca, on our way to Candor. After spending much of my life on this moving train, I swear I'm a pro in navigation that August should consider me as his navigator but I know that's very unlikely.

Time would have been moving much quicker if I was able to take even the shortest nap before another routine of pitching up tents, cleaning manures and waiting. Unfortunately, the day conspired against me and decided that today would be another bad day for me—as if I'm not used to it.

Just past midnight, something or someone outside of our car made its presence known. I heightened my guard and grabbed my working knife—thank you flight and fight response! Before I knew it, Johnston had this hobo bounded by his hands while I stood in front of him and confronted this intruder with my knife against his throat. "Don't move" I spoke with much hostility that I could sense fear in him. "Camel, light!" In just a few seconds, the old man was next to me holding a lantern to the trespasser's face.

My body numbed instantly and my guard _almost _fell when I saw how perfect this person was. However, I caught it right on time and disregarded those feelings. On the other hand, just by the look of his eyes, I could tell that he had the shock of his life and slightly embarrassed to be held at knife point by a girl. Camel, drunk off his ass, attempted to lighten the atmosphere. "Don't be ruthless, Jack. The boy doesn't look like your typical hobo. He's dressed too decently" My sight subtly dropped to scan his other features but snapped back quickly up to his face when he chuckled. The sense of worry and fear had seemed to have melted. _Damn it. _I pulled my knife away from him and marched off to my quarter when I realized Camel's good point and also to avoid doing something stupid.

_Damn, he's…alluring._ Did I really just think that?

A/N: It would be lovely if I could have some feedback to this story so I know if I should continue to write it. Thank you for reading

-IDidNotResurface


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello to those who are reading this, I thank you for taking the time to read my story. It's been a while since I've updated. The first chapter had just one review but that does not mean I will give up. I'm still keeping my hopes up that it will get more reviews!

Disclaimer: **I do not own** Sara Gruen's _Water for Elephants_ **but I do own Jacqueline. I can proudly say that she is my own creation. My sincere apologies to Gruen for butchering her novel. It's not that I didn't like her book, I love and respect it …so you can say this was sort of life like a tribute to it?**

Chapter 2

**Jacob POV**

The pale faces of my parents etched so vividly in my mind—my mother's lips no longer naturally red, my father's face no longer pink as usual when he's bothered. Who knew it would be the final time I would ever see them alive, and pride subtle on their faces as their son left to take his final exam and attain his vet license?

They would never see their son become Dr. Jacob Jankowski, and neither will I. My mind still struggle to face the reality of my world shattering abruptly- it's still too overwhelming.

How can one careless mistake of someone else take what I have?... my future? My motivation? My moral support?

Sometimes I feel as if I'm in a state of comatose who's been taken off life support and left to survive with inadequate necessities.

It was not until the final blow, I felt lifeless and completely killed off.

My family was not well off but we lived comfortably and happily without luxury. When they were gone, the bank took my last comfort place I had—our house, since my father had resorted to using our home to pay for my tuition at Cornell. With no rebuttal, I packed my few clothes and left.

I knew I could not look back. I walked heading to the horizon unsure of where it would take me. I wanted to be far away from here. With every step I took, I could feel pain but eventually it subsides and the numbing takes place.

After a two day journey to my unknown destination, my legs ceased to go on and I stupidly decided to take shelter in the middle of a railroad track.

Less than ten minutes, the sound of metal hitting the track became audible and the smell of burning coal marred the air. Light flickered amongst the thick trees and I knew that was a sign for me to get the hell away from the track. And so I did. However, before I could consciously process what I was doing, all I know was that I was clutching on to a handle of one of the moving cars with my dear life. Freeing my hand could ultimately mean being a vegetable for my entire life or better yet—dead.

I struggled to keep my balance with the speeding train. Fortunately, I managed to slip into an open door only to be unexpectedly attacked and bounded. It was certainly difficult to fight back in the darkness but I stubbornly retaliated with all my might.

My body stood rigidly when a pair calloused and muscular hands shackled my wrist behind me and the cold blade of a knife threatened at my throat. I could hear the voice in front of me echoed hostilely as it summoned for a light. Within moments, my threat was disclosed as the light from the lantern danced upon her flawless but dusty skin. And yes, let me reiterate that- HER. I have never been so ashamed in my life to be held captive and threatened by a girl. In my experience, I know I'm usually the one with the pants but in this situation- she claimed to have the pants- which I voluntarily gave up without a fight—unlike me at all.

For a moment, I felt as if my future harbored more malice but thankfully Camel, the old man who brought her the lantern, had calmed her down.

I let out a deep exhalation, casting my worry, about being slit by the throat or stabbed, away. When Camel implied my decent appearance, I caught her audaciously letting her vision scanned me completely. Just when I thought I couldn't, I let out a small chuckle. Bad timing, as her hostile yet soft brown eyes snapped back up to meet my vision.

Before long, she disappeared to another part of the car and Camel escorted to meet the rest of the inhabitants and my temporary bed for the night. The others, though quirky were very humorous and amiable compared to _her_.

The night was wild but by dawn the celebration ceased. By morning, I woke up to the musty and foul smell that invaded the already putrid car and within a minute, the train halted, dead at its track. This was followed by car doors slamming open and men getting off. _We're here?_

I pushed myself off my uncomfortable cot and made my way out of the car. Once my feet hit the earth, I was met with the sight of an empty, dry land. No signs of civilizations anywhere with the exception of us.

Men, young and old, worked diligently carrying blocks of wood while others hammered. I turned around and the big bold letters engraved on the car screamed to me: "BENZINI BROTHERS: The Most Extravagant Extravaganza"

"I'm in a circus?" I questioned myself unsure how to react to my new fate. My train of thoughts suddenly dissolved as I hear a mix of rambunctious animal noises. Eagerly, I made my way to the clutter of enormous cages confining variety of animals from lions to hyenas to monkeys. Standing in between all these had made me feel very nostalgic; the thought of my first examination with animals as a vet student—sweet memory indeed.

Amongst the conversations between the animals, I could clearly distinguish the utters of a human being. I followed this voice and ended up running into this anonymous girl… again. Apparently, I had caught her off guard as she stuttered and acted defensively. "What the fuck? You aren't supposed to be here!" She scolded which I merely responded with a bewildered expression on my face. I wasn't curious as to why she was surprised but it was the fact I found her caressing a white mare so delicately and seemed to be comforting it.

I disregarded her question and approached her slowly. My sight suddenly dropped to the horse that was lying down on the ground. "May I see her?" I asked still focusing my eyes on the horse. "Uh…." I could hear the insecurity in her voice and less hostile. "Sure." She hesitated.

I immediately sensed something wrong with the horse as my vet instincts kicked in and started to examine it.

"He has laminitis…on his hoof. It's infected and exacerbating" She broke out suddenly. The tone in her voice changed dramatically; gentle and melancholic.

I immediately rushed to see the hoof- she was right. How did she know this? I fought the urge to ask, fearing she might be offended and politely kept it to myself instead.

"You're right" I murmured resting the hoof back to its original place. "Do you think he has the possibility of healing?" She asked with full of concern and a hint of optimism. I looked at her countenance- soft, worried, tainted with dust yet still flawless. For a moment, she was not the same girl who had held me at knife point last night.

I got up and approached her with my hand out gesturing for a hand shake in an attempt to dodge the question and distract her. "Jacob" I articulately stated my name. Her lips quivered with hesitation but stopped suddenly stopped suddenly with determination. "Jack." She spoke indifferent which I stared at her questioningly in response.

"Really now…" I laughed softly assuming she might be joking but judging by her solemn face—she was not. "Jack it is" I nodded quietly and gave in.

Once again, before my mind could choose another topic to continue our conversation, she made her way back to the men who were now raising the tent. I saw her tiny figure running amongst the crowd and grabbed one of the ropes, pulling on it with all her might. I laughed seeing how humorous the situation looked.

But then the sight of 'Jack' and the others blurred.

My body felt as if it stopped functioning, the oxygen stopped circulating and my breathing ceased.

A/N: Hopefully with this lengthy chapter, it will give you an opportunity to give me some reviews on this chapter. **Constructive criticisms** are welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello to those who are reading this, I know I have no excuses as to why I never updated this story but since school started five months ago, I have stopped brainstorming them and life just became extremely busy. However, now that summer is here, I can continue working on this and I will try to stay committed to this. I am currently re-reading _Water for Elephants_ to familiarize myself once more with some of the plot and characters.

Disclaimer: **I do not own** Sara Gruen's _Water for Elephants_ **but I do own Jacqueline. I can proudly say that she is my own creation. My sincere apologies to Gruen for butchering her novel. It's not that I didn't like her book, I love and respect it …so you can say this was sort of life like a tribute to it?**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

**Jacqueline "Jack" POV**

Why now? For the past few years, I have never allowed anyone to drive me down and degrade me this much. I made sure of it but for the very first time, he had sent me down here and quite effortlessly too, making it a double blow.

"This is fucking ridiculous…" I muttered out of frustration before slamming my door to warn others to think twice before bothering me. I leaned on the dilapidating wooden door, contemplating about this horrible embarrassment.

"I was merely trying to see Camel's point, that's it." I attempted to convince myself in a rather unconvincing and hesitant manner.

Within seconds, I burst out of agitation and my fuse was out. I felt the pain aching on my head as I continuously slammed my head on the hollow wall. Nostalgia sets in as this pain bought that familiar feeling of when I was a child. It had become a habit of mine to injure myself in any way I can to rid of that uncomfortable feeling I had. According to one of the sisters at the orphanage had told me that it was an 'abnormality' occurring in my brain. I was set to be sent to an asylum for further evaluation, but as you can see that did not end well. The last vision I saw after the last bang was the faces of the other children as they took me away, before the sight of my rusting mirror caught my attention. A gravitational pull lured me towards the mirror. I looked at myself in disgust. My hand seems to function independently from my consciousness. I watched as my fingers caressed my face tainted with dust from this afternoon's work. Now I feel dirty—I am dirt.

The soft moan from the train became audible as it slowly came to a stop once more. I dig into my pillow case and retrieved a rusted pocket watch that I have pickpocketed from some man years ago. It was half an hour past seven, "we're too early.." I mumbled lazily as I placed the watch back securely into my pillow. "We're making a quick unplanned tour; the Mayor demanded we do a three day show. Big cash." Anthony spoke throw the hollow door with high optimism. _Poor kid. I don't think he knows too much of August's little scam. _I sat there sympathizing Anthony silently. He's a good boy, hardworking but easily fooled. On my first visit to the leader of the circus, I could smell fraud oozing all over August. I assume Marlena, his wife, knew as well but decided to play dumb about it and for that I applaud her. I knew from my first day on the job, none of was going to get paid despite August's promises of big lumps of cash if we waited a little more patiently. PATIENT MY ASS! Why I've decided to stay in this hell hole if I'm not getting paid? It's the only place I could actually feel as if I belong. These men took me in, took care of me, fed me, and treated as if I'm their own. To be honest, I felt as if these men treated me better than my parents could ever treat me.

"Jackie…" The sudden slur accompanied by a knock on my door snapped me back into reality. From the vague calling of my name and familiar knock, I knew it was Camel, the one responsible for taking me in. I knew I was indebted to him more than anyone. The second knock came louder. "Rise and shine, sweetheart." His voice, now clearer, seemed to have a soothing effect on me. I quickly covered the wife beater that one of the men had given to me for my 16th birthday with a flannel and opened the door for him. "I've been up." I greeted my father-like figure with the brightest and most mischievous smile which in turn resulted in a baffled expression molding on his face.

"Wipe that smile off, Miss…you don't want to stir trouble now." He warned me jokingly as his comeback. "Tony told you right or else I'll have to have some good talk with him."

"Yes, he did, sir." I nodded firmly. "And I'll be on my way out." I spoke obediently before closing my door in front of him and prepared myself with another hard day of labor. Once I was out, I watched as the sun rose up slowly; Men were already hammering logs and setting foundation of our tent before I quickly sense a hand rested on my shoulder. Instinctually, my hand reached over this stranger's, twisting it quickly before they could respond. Within seconds, Jacob was on the ground grunting in pain. In a way, I found no remorse in this man as I watched him cringe in pain. Involuntarily, I stuck my hand out to help him up, my face indifferent. "Good Morning to you too…" He stretched his shoulder once and without a moment to lose, he was back up on his feet. "Lesson learned, you can't sneak up on people like that." I spoke sternly avoiding complete eye contact by pretending to scan the whole dry land in front of us.

Before the conversation could progress any further, I could hear those dreaded footsteps from Bowers approaching us. My lungs ceased to let anymore more oxygen in, which in turn resulted into my throat feeling dry to the point where I felt dropping dead would have been a more favorable option. "Caraway!" Bowers, August's secretary\slave, piercing shout prevented me from disregarding his presence. I quietly shifted my attention to him and gave him a nod signaling the fact he has my attention. "August wants you. His car. Immediately." My lips pursed and I cringe in response, which faded quickly enough before Jacob could mention it. "Gotcha." I spoke hoarsely. Right on time, I see Marlena exit her car in her fitted white dress that emphasized the soft curves of her body. All work ceased for a moment, eyes of every men were all on her as if she was an angel who has just fallen out of the sky—including Jacob. Finding this as a good opportunity, I slipped away from the hypnotized and made my to August's car as slowly as possible. The invisible lump in my throat stifled my ability to talk and every step I took to approach his door made it even worse. _Get it over with_, I scolded myself and pushed the door wide enough to let the familiar fragrance that August usually smothers himself with, only to find him nowhere to be found in the room.

"Jacqueline…you're finally here." His voice, caught off guard behind me. I snatched my head quickly to see him with his lousy but coy smirk.

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><p>[AN]: Comments, feedback, predictions, suggestions and constructive criticisms are welcomed!

I'd like to thank my sudden burst of inspiration to write and Spotify for letting me listen to Water for Elephants score.

-Lady Betsy

(Former pen name: IDidNotResurface)


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